Day 14 :: Self Kindness & Stretching

"Yoga is about compassion and generosity towards others. It means being mindful of the world around us." - Christy Turlington

At the advice of my acupuncturist, and the inspiration of my dear friend Rose, I got up this morning and did a little yoga. The day was just beginning to peek through the windows as I stretched out on the floor. My littlest chick climbed all about me, sprinkling cereal bits around my head, and then finally settling out next to me. The rest of the house slept quietly.

Oh, how long has it been since I stretched my poor body? I could feel the tightness in my muscles, the resistance in my back and legs. But as I moved, I began to feel something a little different. It started to feel, well, good! I felt everything begin to give a little, and a new energy began to course through my body. My closing meditation resulted in more of a lap-sitting session with the babe; but that's OK. I felt physically balanced, mentally centered and ready for the day.

Tonight, before I turn in, I plan to do another short practice, stretching the tensions of the day back out of my body. Stretching that small, quiet space in my mind until it fills me completely. And, ultimately, deepening the loving-kindness I show to myself in order to better show it to others, which speaks to the very heart of compassion.

Day 12 :: Self Kindness & Breathing

"Smile, breathe and go slowly." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Often, I catch myself holding my breath. So today I chose to concentrate my 'kindness to self' practice on simply remembering to breathe. Being home with my little chicks all day, I had the opportunity to practice mindful breathing, as well as to do some deep breathing exercises.

I lit some incense to put me in the right frame of mind (my incense burner is an original piece of stained glass art created by my sister, Dianne.) As the earthy scent of Nag Champa swirled about my house, it carried me ever so gently into mindfulness and reminded me, every so often, to take a deeper breath.

I also practiced a relaxing, deep breathing exercise by Dr. Andrew Weil called 4-7-8 Breath:

Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge behind your front teeth; keep it there throughout the exercise. Exhale through your mouth making a whoosh sound. Then, inhale quietly through your nose for a count of four, hold for a count of seven, and exhale audibly through your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat for four breath cycles two times a day.

Mid-day, I took a "breather" of another sort with a blend of white ayurvedic chai and jasmine pearl tea.

I inhaled its sweet & spicy fragrance and sipped it slowly while the girls played happily about my feet. Remembering to breathe consciously and deeply for just one day helped me to find some much-needed balance, an act of kindness I intend to continue.

Day 11 :: Self Kindness & Food

My compassion practice is focusing on kindness to self this week. Today, I put my attention on properly nourishing myself - an act of kindness that can easily fall to the bottom of the priority list on busy days. I love fresh, whole foods! Preparing them feeds my soul and focuses my mind; eating them energizes my body.

I got off to a healthy start with a favorite breakfast - homemade blueberry-almond granola and Kashi shredded wheat. Served in a hand-thrown ceramic bowl with a cup of creamy coffee on the side, and I'm happy, heart & soul!

Blueberry-Almond Granola
2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut
1/2 cup sliced almonds
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons honey
1 cup dried blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. On a large rimmed baking sheet, toss oats, coconut & almonds. In a small bowl, stir together oil & honey. Pour over mixture & toss. Bake, tossing occasionally, until lightly toasted, 16 to 20 minutes. Place in a large bowl & stir in blueberries. Store in an airtight container up to 1 month.

Dinner was another act of kindness for myself. I rarely prepare fish at home, as I'm really the only one who wants it. But tonight, I served a pan-grilled fillet of Wild Alaskan Salmon, brushed with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt & fresh ground pepper.

On the side was a fresh green salad and Disappearing Zucchini Orzo from Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I also made some fresh pesto using a bounty of garden-fresh basil, and following a recipe in Molly Wizenberg's lovely book A Homemade Life.
New to me, Wizenberg recommends pounding the basil leaves until bruised to help release their flavor. It was so yummy, and I made a double batch to kindly share with others! For you, the recipe:

Basil Pesto
2 cups tightly packed basil leaves, washed & dried well
1/2 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons pine nuts
2 medium cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup Parmigiano-Reggiano

Put the basil leaves in a zip lock plastic bag; press air out & seal. Pound the bag until the leaves are bruised. Put pounded basil, olive oil, pine nuts, garlic and salt in food processor. Process to a smooth, creamy consistency. Transfer to a medium boll and stir in Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Day 9 :: Random Acts of Kindness

The Law of Attraction has been hard at work over here. I put it out there to practice compassion and the opportunities to do so have been falling at my feet ever since. I've spent the past few days performing random acts of kindness; a few for myself and many for others. For me: some extra much-needed rest, a new book, accepting some extra childcare. For others: hospital visits, long phone conversations, homemade muffin deliveries.

The acts of kindness seem to be contagious. Yesterday, a work crew of family showed up at another family member's house to help out. In a few hours, together, we had:

:: fixed a long-broken toilet
:: painted a room
:: replaced a long-broken ceiling light fixture
:: flipped a mattress
:: moved furniture around
:: cleaned some hard-to-reach areas

Something more than handiwork was shared at this gathering. It was a deep understanding and communal desire to support another in a difficult time. It was an unspoken recognition that we are all connected; a gentle reminder that we are never really alone. It was an outpouring of love and compassion.

This weekend, the opportunities for kindness continue, including bringing a meal to a dear friend's house in honor of the glorious arrival of a new baby girl and the inevitable foggy days & nights that followed her into this world.

I'll meet you back here on Monday, with the first of a series of posts that have been brewing on Kindness to Self. Happy Weekending!

Day 6 :: Counting My Blessings

"On this New Moon of love, we must accept the responsibility to cultivate the intention for living each day as a loving, heartful, mindfully, compassionate being." - Lisa Dale Miller

Last night, in the shadow of another New Moon in Cancer and a total solar eclipse, my moon sisters and I strung gratitude beads. Gratitude beads are used to keep your mind focused while meditating upon the things you are grateful for. You hold the string of beads in your hand and reflect upon a blessing in your life (silently or out loud) for each one as you move it down the strand. I love the earthy beauty of all of our beads, which somehow seem to reflect our individual essences.

I fashioned my gratitude beads in my "colors of joy" palette, using a combination of wooden, semiprecious stone and glass beads. At each end of my strand, I created a loop from which I hung a symbolic charm. One end features a small, antique silver Quan Yin to remind me to practice compassion. From the other end hangs a sweet, silver bird, there to remind me to rise above and access my Buddha Nature.

Today, I'm so very grateful for the beautiful, spiritual women in my life with which I have the opportunity to share in mindful crafting and sacred circles like the one we experienced last night. My heart opens wide in their presence, flooded with compassion, gratitude and love.

Day 5 :: Gratitude & a New Moon

The moon enters a new lunar cycle today - a perfect time for setting intentions and counting our blessings. No surprise, my intention for the month is to practice compassion. I'm adding a focus on gratitude too, as the two really go together.

Practicing gratitude urges us to find the positive in our daily lives, and allows us to develop a greater awareness and appreciation for the little blessings that make up our days. From this, compassion flows naturally, as we open our hearts to the people, places and things we are grateful for.

Tonight, I will gather with the Mamas for our monthly New Moon ritual. We have a special mindful crafting activity planned too, themed around gratitude. I'm excited to share it with you here tomorrow!

Happy New Moon in Cancer (again)!

Day 3 :: Give Me a Break

Part Two - Kindness to Self

One of my favorite pearls of wisdom to offer others is to "treat yourself with the same compassion you would give a good friend." This sentiment is easier doled out than followed through upon. Since childhood, I have held myself to very high standards; in turn, I pay a hefty price when I don't meet the mark.

Today, I begin to work on compassion for myself. For me, this means relaxing my standards. Doing less. Loving myself more. Moving my self care up on the priority list. I have a lot more thoughts on ways to do this, and will be looking at them individually here over the next few weeks. But for today, I just wish to take that first step of moving into a new consciousness. One based in kindness and compassion, and free of judgment, for myself.

Day 2 :: Rewind, Be Kind

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness." ~Seneca

Part One - Kindness to Others

Remember that saying from the days of VHS tapes, Be Kind, Rewind? I often find myself needing to "rewind and be kind." For many of us, it can become habit to fall back on anger or fear when faced with a challenging or uncomfortable situation. My mission today is to take a step back and turn to kindness instead. Being kind to others - from loved ones to strangers - cultivates happiness for everyone.

A tool that has helped me practice kindness over the years is the Buddhist loving kindness meditation. It can be done anywhere, anytime and is an easy way to rewind and reset your attitude. I follow these simple directions from Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali:

Still your mind and focus on your breath. Begin with focusing your thoughts on self-love. Think of a recent act of kindness, or imagine your inner Buddha nature. Next send loving kindness to someone you love, such as a child, family member or friend. Then, send loving kindness to a neutral person, someone you have neither positive or negative feelings (like the clerk at the grocery). Follow this by sending loving kindness to someone you find difficult to get along with. Finally, send loving kindness to all beings in the world.

Day 1 :: Don't Judge Me (or Anyone/Anything Else)

"Today I shall judge nothing that occurs." - A Course in Miracles

I think to truly practice compassion for ourselves and others, we have to release judgment. Lately, I've noticed I'm judging everything: my days, my reactions to them, my actions & choices, the actions & choices of the people around me. Every situation is analyzed and classified. It's exhausting on every level. No wonder I feel so drained of energy.

Thinking about all this, I remembered reading a passage in Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. So I just dug it out: "when you are constantly evaluating, classifying, labeling, analyzing, you create a lot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This turbulence constricts the flow of energy between you and the field of pure potentiality."

For today, I'm going to try and practice non-judgment. I will not judge my children, my husband, the grocery store clerk... no one. I will not label my day and the moments within it. I will not criticize myself or my actions. Instead, I will seek understanding and compassion.

Care to join me?

30 Days of Compassion

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - Dalai Lama

Last November, I wrote a series called 30 Days of Gratitude in honor of the season. Today, I introduce to you 30 Days of Compassion, an exercise in cultivating happiness. Please join me here over the next several weeks as I explore practicing compassion for self and others. I don't promise to write every day (an act of self compassion), but I hope I do.

A few things have inspired this exercise, but mostly it is a feeling that has been hanging around me for far too long. A quiet sense of uneasiness that keeps getting a little louder. As a mother, a daughter, a friend and a wife, I deeply wish for everyone around me to be happy and free of suffering. And I wish this for myself. But as life has it, we all suffer on some level. My father is ill and has been hospitalized for over a month; my children can't have everything they want; my husband is overwhelmed at work; friends are short on time, rest, help, money...

And so, I feel "called" to better understand compassion as a way to quiet the uneasiness building within and around me. I hope you will join me on this journey towards joy!

Family Time

Saturday at the park: this is what it's all about.

Shell Beach

Every Thursday, for as long as I can remember, the mamas have gathered at Shell Beach. We arrive, one-by-one, spreading blankets, chairs, sand toys, coolers and most of all, kids, all over the cool white sand. It's "our place," where the mamas can relax and the kids can run free.

Over the years, the number of little ones we have in tow has multiplied significantly. Now, once a week, we pretty much take over this little hidden, out-of-the-way patch of beach. The rhythmic sound of crashing waves intermingles with the squeals of happy babies, busy kids and chattering mamas. And all is good.

Our summer schedule has allowed me and the girls to once again take part in this weekly rendezvous with nature and friends. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to connect with both.

A Full, Feminine Moon

A couple of weeks ago, on the heels of the New Moon, I promised to share my altar honoring the Divine Feminine when the time was right. Tonight is the Full Moon - and now is the time. I began preparing my altar with a batik cloth depicting images of the Bodhisattva Quan Yin, with my beloved statue of this Chinese Goddess of Compassion centered atop it. Each additional item placed around the altar represents some aspect of the feminine spirit to me, or my current quest to honor my whole self.

The "Bliss" birth goddess art by Maggie Davenport is an image that just sings mother and woman to me. The triad of herbal candles are said to promote healing and wholeness (both goals of mine for this lunar cycle).

Fresh flowers were gathered and cut from my garden and paired with a ceramic lotus flower, a symbol Quan Yin is often pictured holding or sitting upon. The lotus represents purity, wisdom and enlightenment and appears all over my home (can you see the reflection of a lotus painting in the mirror?)

Around Quan Yin's neck I wrapped a necklace which belonged to my maternal grandmother. It features a jade (said to encourage self-realization) fish (the ever-open eyes of a fish are said to represent compassion).

Various stones, crystals and shells also adorn this sacred space, including a gifted cowrie shell - a sacred symbol long associated with the feminine.

Like myself, my altar to the Divine Feminine is a work in progress. I plan to continue adding to it as the moon progresses and as I continue to honor this sacred space inside me.

Pickles :: Preserving My Domestic Goddess Status

Fourth of July weekend seemed like the perfect opportunity to try my hand at making homemade pickles. Ever since my friend Rose delivered a jar of delicious homemade dills last month, I've been craving more. So as not to return her pickle jar empty, I followed an easy recipe for fast refrigerator pickles in this month's Everyday Food and paired cucumber rounds with pearl onions for my own pickled combo!

The pickle chips & onions are fabulously crisp, sweet & salty and tangy! Next time, I will definitely add some garlic cloves. And maybe a bit more dill.

When I made my first batch of homemade strawberry jam last February, Rose, our village's "Almighty Queen of the True And Loyal Order of Domestic Goddesses," proclaimed me a Bona Fide Domestic Goddess, First Class. So, now with pickles in my repertoire, I'm hoping to preserve this lofty status. And next month, when I attempt to can tomatoes with our (hopeful) summer harvest, just maybe I can even gain a rank!

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Fast Homemade Pickles (recipe from Everyday Food)

In a medium saucepan, combine 3 cups white vinegar, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 2 tsp. coarse salt, 1/2 tsp. mustard seed, 1/2 tsp. celery seed, 2-4 small red chiles (optional) and 1/8 teaspoon ground turmeric. Bring to a bpoil, stirring to dissolve suagr. Arrange prepared vegetables and 1 1/2 c. fresh dill fronds in one or more jars. Pour hot brine into jar to completely cover vegetables and seal jar. Refrigerate until cool, about 2 hours (or up to one week).

It's Raining, It's Pouring.

It rained all day. And all day my oldest chick wanted in it. Badly. So after dinner, when the whining hit a crescendo, she won.

Add a watering can full of rain water and a bucket of Easter eggs (I knew there was a reason not to have put those away yet) and pure contentment was achieved.

Ahh, to be a kid!