|Pomegranate with blue morpho butterflies and |
Banded Sphinx Moth caterpillar, Maria Sibylla Merian
I knew motherhood would change my life on the surface. But it was those changes that lurked below, emerging one by one, suddenly and without warning, which brought me to my knees in the early days (months, years...). The complete loss of the me I had known for 29 years. The new way I viewed the world through the eyes of a mother. Then, the way I had to reevaluate every aspect of my existence through this new perspective.
Now, here we are 10 years later. Ten! I've journeyed alongside my baby girl as she has grown and developed, become a big sister, began her schooling, and discovered interests and talents all her own. My heart and full attention have remained fixated on my daughter, and then daughters, since that exhilarating, steamy morning in June 2004.
|Metamorphosis of the Insects of Surinam,|
Maria Sibylla Merian,
So I've been looking within, asking questions, and mostly shedding layers. Layers and layers of my past - from childhood, to young adulthood, to new motherhood - any layers and layers of past roles I've been wrapped up in - from little girl, to daughter, to young wife and new mama - are slipping away. And I'm emerging - as if from a chrysalis - a changed person.
In 10 years, I've learned that motherhood is a metamorphosis... I imagine it is a series of them, but I don't yet know as I'm only emerging from my first. I'm unfolding new wings, stretching them wide to reach the breadth of my growing gals. With these wings I have new freedoms, as well as new responsibilities. And once again, I'm forced to reevaluate life with new eyes... what an amazing ride!
Happy 10th birthday to my sweet Selby.
I am honored and grateful to share this awesome journey with you.